I went to a convention, dressed as Miku. I didn’t expect anything to go wrong. I wear glasses because my eyes cross without them. Lots of people say they were cute, so I smiled and said they were real. At one point I was standing around when I felt someone passionately tap my shoulder, so I turned to see who.

His hair was greasy and messy, his face was smothered in pimples, and seemed to secret grease. I asked him what he needed, and he asked for a photo. I smiled and said yes, doing a basic Miku pose. He frowned. “Miku-chan, I want you to show me your panties! I want to feel your kawaii boobs!”

Before I could react, he lunged forward and groped me, stuffing his hand in my panties and feeling around. I began to SCREAM. “HELP! HELP! THIS GUY IS MOLESTING ME!” A guard RUSHED over, right before the wanker slipped his fingers inside of my crotch. I was shivering and crying, collapsing to the ground and squeezing my legs together. Right before they lead the guy away, he yelled, “I WANK TO YOU MIKU-CHAN!”

So, to start this adventure off I will say that I was and still am an anime fan.  I have a shit ton of posters that a friend gave me, even though not even half of them are up due to lack of wall space. I have some shirts, and a few random ass DVDs.  I also like japanese music and some Vocaloid.  But I don’t consider myself a weeaboo.  Most of my friends who are going to graduate high school are major anime fans. It’s kind of disturbing really.  I love them, but seriously.  I can only take so much Hetalia and Vocaloid.

So one day, we were driving back from the mall. It was around 8 or 9 pm and up it was pretty dark and icy.  Typical Midwestern winter’s night with snow.  Well she, she’s a big Canada fan, so we’ll call her Canada.  Well Canada was… Obsessed. Freakishly so.  And she has one of those things in her car that you can plug your music device in to the radio.  Well she was currently obsessed with Meditational Field sang by Kaito.

I like that song as well, and when I like a song I’ll have it on repeat too.  So I couldn’t say anything about it.  Well, she would for some reason not have it on repeat on her mp3 player, and she would manualy change it while driving.  Thing is, she can’t multitask.  So we were on ice with her driving being interrupted by the ending of that song.

Well this went on for a while.  She’d scream at us if we talked during the song or made any noise.  And so she’d split her attention from the icy road to her mp3 player.  At one point she was so spazzy about it, that if someone whispered, she’d rewind it.  And she accidently skipped past it.  So while driving she was staring at her mp3 player and ignoring the VERY ICY road.

And she ran a stop light.  At this point, I was pissed off and I screamed stop.  She looked and stopped.  Almost right in the middle of the intersection.  Not even four feet from her car at the time she stopped, zoomed past this big ass semi truck.  And her car is one of those tiny compact ones.

And this happened because she couldn’t find one measly Vocaloid song on her mp3 player after she listened to it for ten miles.

Now I have implimented the rule in her car that the passanger is in command of handling the music, and will stop at a song whenever someone wishes.

Don’t Vocaloid and drive, kids.
It could almost get you crushed by a semi truck.

Okay, I’ve been to a few expos in my years of cosplay experience and…this has to be the worst that has happened to me so far. I was cosplaying Akita Neru Matryoshka, one of my friends was cosplaying Luka Matryoshka (I’ll call her Ali) and another cosplayed Miku Matryoshka (I’ll call her Oli). We were enjoying half way of the expo, socialising to people when this late 20 year old man came up to us…I didn’t know this at the time, but he was apparently cosplaying Kaito (I’ll call him Ian)…but I couldn’t tell, Ian only wore a wig and casual clothes. First Ian asked us for hugs which we all did. It was okay at first because he was only asking us for our facebooks, most people did. Then when we started to move on but Ian started tagging along with us, asking me if that was okay so I said sure..unsure of what to say.

As Ali and Oli talked to other cosplayers I was stuck with him. He kept talking to me and suddenly pulled me into a more romantic hug than just a hug and he kept saying “oh, you’re so cute” and gazed at me hungrily. I was nervously laughing and trying to pull away but Ian didn’t budge. He then said “can I have a kiss on the cheek?” I admit I was scared at this point because I suffer anxiety so I did, thinking that’s all he would want and would let me go…I was so wrong. 

“Do you have a boyfriend?” I didn’t, so I said I don’t have one and before I could tell him to let me go Ian kissed me. ON THE LIPS. He was trying to snog me. But I wasn’t letting him. I was tense and struggled to get him off of me. He was in his late 20’s and I was only 14! He kept pulling away for air and go back to snog me, I just wanted to throw up in his mouth.

Eventually I pushed him away from me and went to Oli and Ali whilst he was talking to other cosplayers. I told them what happened and they were horrified, we started to make a run to hide behind a caravan but Ian saw us, and made his way to us.

Ali and Oli grabbed my hands and we ran to a tall male Ciel cosplayer. We told him the situation and pointed to Ian and the Ciel said to us “don’t worry, I won’t let him get you guys” and glared at Ian who turned the other way.

When we got home from that day, surprisingly Ian didn’t ruin my day, it was a fun expo day but when I checked on facebook he sent me a message saying “hi, I’m the man with the blue wig :)” so then Ali sent him a message back saying I was her girlfriend and she would have battered him if she saw what Ian did. He apologised and left me alone.

The moral of this story? Stick close to your friends, because if they turn their back for a moment, you could be snogged by a weeaboo =A=