I honestly know nothing about anime/ manga/ “kawaii-desu-ness”. I had only finished watching APH about a year ago. I loved the series- I’ve always loved history and to find someone able to poke fun at it was different!

I used to live in England and I moved just about a year and a half ago to the southern half of America. So I was this nervous white girl with a horrendously thick accent going to a new high school where I didn’t know anyone. To be honest, I was desperate to find anyone that had common interests.

So on the first day of school I walk into my English class and take a seat next to this really nice girl. She was neat and looked kept to herself. Let’s call her Amelia. I introduced myself, trying to put forth my best impressions and she was so sweet when she replied. Amelia laughed a lot and was really funny. We instantly became friends.

One day when we were in math class we were using white boards- and admit it- who doesn’t love randomly doodling on white boards? I glanced over to look at what she was drawing and immediately recognized the ahoge and glasses. So I lean over and whisper, “Alfred, stop doodling and pay attention, you git.” She freezes and turns around, completely caught off guard with a huge smile on her face.

 A few weeks later, Amelia invited me over to her house along with another one of her friends who was a fan of Hetalia. I was really nervous about meeting her friend, let’s call her Ivana. So I arrive at her house a bit late because my mum and I had a hard time finding her address. But I ring the doorbell and I hear this…stampeding and this Russia cosplay literally knocks me off the front porch. I was literally thrown into a rose bush. The girl was screaming broken Russian and Japanese [I had no idea those could be combined…]. She introduced herself and I had to admit I was intimidated by her.

We went up to Amelia’s room soon after that. Maybe it’s my American stereotypes coming on, but it was filled with food, manga, and filth. I literally had to pick my way over to a nearby couch.

Besides the off-putting setting, Amelia, Ivana and I seemed to become pretty good friends. Later in the evening, Ivana had to go to the Orthodontist, leaving me with Amelia. We talked about Hetalia, she introduced a bit more about fandom involved and couple more animes that she thought I might like. Then she questioned me about where I was from. I explained how I was from England and such. Then she started comparing me to Arthur in APH. I didn’t mind much since well- to be honest- I’ve got blonde hair, green eyes and am from the UK, so I wasn’t surprised she would. She told me how much she loved to role-play and cosplay Alfred from the series. I smiled, telling her I really liked the character. Amelia obviously took this the wrong way. She brightened up and told me she wanted to show me something in her closet. I should’ve rethought what she was saying but she insisted, and I followed along.

Upon entering the closet I swear I thought I had entered some hell-version-fan-girl-rainbow- Hetalia interpretation. All over the walls of her walk-in closet were covered in what seemed to be pages of different usuk yaoi and ‘suggestive’ posters of different anime characters. I was getting really uncomfortable and made some lame excuse and said I was getting a bit claustrophobic. Before I had finished telling her that I noticed that she had locked the door. I was really starting to freak out a bit. She leaned up really close to me; I could smell the pocky we had earlier. I tried backing away and I told her to stop. She was much stronger than me, and had a larger build than my lanky frame and Amelia had pinned me to the wall. Somehow she had managed to hand-cuff me to the railing of the hangers. I tried kicking her away but she just got closer, licked my cheek  and purred in a hair-raising voice,’ I thought you said you liked me, Arthur?’ I couldn’t scream- I had somehow forgot how to use my voice from the shock. After having to push her away as she kissed me over and over again, saying that this was ‘exactly like the yaoi she read’ she let me go, accepting that I was merely ‘tsundere’.

After that incident I distanced myself as far from them as possible. Amelia and Ivana had begun to call me Arthur or England out in public. I tried my best to laugh it off in class as they would refer to me as such. It was honestly the most embarrassing situation to be caught in.

Ivana seemed a bit out of the loop. It didn’t seem she knew that Amelia was practically molesting me. I finally plucked up the courage and told Ivana what had happened and she laughed at me in her ‘Russian-kol’ and merely said, ‘But that’s what yaoi is, Arthur. Are you surprised that you were the uke?’

I was beyond shock and vowed to just completely cut ties with them and made many new friends. But right before Final-Exams we were doing review in class. I volunteer to do a chemistry question on the front board. Out of nowhere, Amelia comes running and kisses me.

On the lips.

In front of the entire class.

She was expelled the very next day.

I’ve moved a bit later after that, and went to a private school up in Boston. I’ve finally been able to escape their presence, but Ivana’s voice always seems to come back to me…

and Amelia still leaves me voice mails.